With a little more stressed-out version of myself. Images are fascinating me at the moment, for some reason; and while I’m not wild about the way I look in this photo, it’s one of my favorites of my daughter. She was so much her own person even then.
“All great achievements require time.”
– David J. Schwartz: professor, author
Yeah, I have PMS — What of it? You want a piece of this? You ready to go? Are you? Yeah. I thought so. And don’t let me hear from you again, or Cousin Guido and I will have somethin’ to say about it, hear? No soup for you!
Dear God,
Please send my husband home soon. I beg you. My daughter just took five inches worth of bangs in her left hand and a pair of scissors in her right. The result isn’t good. And I thought she was brushing her teeth. Good one, God.
Not laughing,
~ Angela
p.s. Must she add how cute she thinks it looks? It might look good on one of those girls on “America’s Next Top Model” when the rest of the hair is cut to match, but it looks more like a mullet on my daughter. Please send help soon. Thank you, oh you who continually seems to make jokes at my expense.
“Anshee, the ban is blue and gray — a light blue gray. You gonna love it.” (referring to the van that Jon rented when he flew down to visit this last weekend. As much as we tried to tell LJ that it would be just Daddy visiting, all of us were feeling the separation, and he kept waiting for Babs and me to show up. I had a good cry over it after this conversation.)
“I’m sure I would, Sweetie. I wish I could be there with you.”
“You gonna love it.”
As a courtesy reminder, the audience should be informed that spinning around in circles does not necessarily (or even usually) mean that one is making progress — even if the pace of the spinning is increased or a ton of dust is created in the process. I will be grabbing my dust pan now. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have received further instructions. Cheers, kids. If I start asking for Advil and Wild Turkey, you’ll know it’s been as wild a week this week as it was last. “Serenity now!”
Have you ever had one of those days where the same story or message seemed to keep cropping up?
I have had just such one of those days.
A little over two years ago, I married a man who speaks Hebrew. I love when he speaks Hebrew. I’m a sheltered German, waspy girl, and sometimes my partnership with Jon feels like we’re making something cosmically “right.”
I think that there probably needs to be about a billion times more love than what we’ve been able to muster to really counteract all the pain that has been inflicted in the last 100 years, but even so, we cherish our unlikely partnership and the different perspective it has brought to each of us because of the cultures in which we were raised — He as an Eastern Jewish boy from the city, and my country-girl, ultra-conservative Protestant upbringing.
My serendipitous day began with a story about a woman who died. A young woman. And then it was another. And then it was a woman who is lovingly facing cancer and the thought of her own death.
I looked up at my calendar not long ago and read that Yom Kippur begins in about two hours, at sunset. I have learned that this is a day of asking forgiveness — a day of atonement — a day of soul-searching and reflection. And I wonder: Could that be what’s going on with me and in me?
Four years ago, I didn’t even know about this day. I find myself feeling grateful that I, though I’m not religious and don’t espouse religion, can benefit from a day set aside for forgiveness and atonement.
My journey continues to take me deeper than I ever dreamed I would go. I try to learn the principles of Loving Kindness — of loving and forgiving myself so that I can truly love others better — with no hurt feelings, no grudges, no trying to make them anything they’re not. To remember that simply being there is the best gift we can ever give to one another, but that most of all, we must be there for ourselves first.
I can’t imagine that I will fast on this high holiday as many people will. But I may light a candle and ask whomever is listening to help me be kinder to myself and others. To help me let go of pain so that I can embrace real people, with all of their flaws and anguish, knowing that it’s not about me.
Loving Spirit, I ask for grace this day so that we will all be kinder to ourselves and others. Help us reach inside to the love and beauty that exists in each of us so that we do not pollute others with our pain but can reach out as healing lights. Thank you for this life, this forum and these friends. Please bless them, each and every one.
Wishing you peace today and always, from my heart.
~ Angela
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