Disappointing, but true: when I ran my blog through the funny film rating system, I ended up with a measly PG-13. This is simply not acceptable, folks!
In an attempt to raise my rating (because what’s life without a few choice f-bombs appropriately placed?), I present to you our attempt to take a picture at dinner the other night.
Don’t you love how the word “fuck with” has almost entirely replaced the phrase “mess with” and all its many variations? (There, now, if that doesn’t earn me an NC-17, I don’t know what will.)
With me in this short clip is the woman I’ve been sleeping with for 23 years, my best girlfriend, Denise. I love her. She’s currently learning how to fly commercial jets, so if you see her on a flight in the next couple of years or so, tell her I said hello and hug her for me. She’ll hate that. 
Oh, and, for the record, I don’t throw my hair around like that on just any old night. It has to be margarita night. (And there has to be a camera in front of me.) Like good ol’ Ben Franklin once said, “Everything in moderation. Including moderation.”
And, as a final aside, since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Angie recommends Jonathan’s Long Bar Cafe in Salem, Ore.
The food looked (and I heard tasted) tremendous, and the bartenders were funny and quite kind.
(I’m milking this turning 40 thing for all it’s worth. Shhhhh. Don’t tell them I have a couple of years left — it’s far too fun to watch the reactions of the 20-somethings when I tell them I’m almost 40. I am. Technically.)
If you missed her asking me “Did you fuck with my camera?” you may want to re-watch it.
Honestly. Would I fuck with her camera? That’s disgusting. I thought she knew me better than that.
And here’s the photo we were trying to take in the first place:
Happy start to your week, everyone! The parents are coming in T-minus 21 days and counting. If Alice could show up soon, that would be really, really great.
In especially happy news this week, typing in the phrase “Baklava Costco” into a search engine (especially AOL) will present a link to yours truly as one of the top options. The joy of this can barely be contained. Just a few more weeks! Hooray! Now, what to eat for breakfast until then. Hmmmmm.
