Out of the Mouths of Babes — So last night we al…

August 23, 2006

Out of the Mouths of Babes —

So last night we all met up at Tony Roma’s for dinner. My mother-in-law, Jon, the kids and I — and it was going fairly well, I thought. The kids yelled a bit over the exchange of crayons. Jon gave me “the look” once or twice when I was rambling on, but all in all, it was going pretty well, until I reached in my purse to grab some wet wipes to wipe up messy hands on Kid #2.

Kid #1 is enjoying herself tremendously with Grandma, showing her how to open the wipes package, etc. The conversation went like this:

Kid #1: Here, Grandma, this is how you open it.

Grandma: Oh, thank you!

Kid #1: My mom has lots of cool stuff in her purse.

(Editor’s note: Not entirely true because when I went to find a stupid green crayon so they would stop yelling in the restaurant, I came up completely empty-handed and wondered where the hell all those extra crayons had gone to. Maybe Kid #1 eats them behind my back, I thought to myself.)

Grandma: Mom’s are good that way.

Kid #1: Yeah, she’s got wet wipes and all kinds of stuff. (Read “crap.”)

Grandma: (obviously humoring her) Really?

Kid #1: (with enthusiasm) Yep. She’s even got pepper spray in there!

Me: (wanting to wring her neck but restraining myself since we’re in public) Oh, (fake laughter) you know Daddy makes me carry that.

Kid #1: (sheepishly) I’m not allowed to touch it.

Fortunately, my MIL graciously dropped the subject while I did my best to regain my composure. Thanks, Kid #1. No soup for you!

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