That is one stubborn, bad ass weed

June 17, 2007

So . . . my father-in-law coming in T minus three days and counting has prompted some unusual behavior at my house: namely, doing things we wouldn’t do otherwise, such as cleaning the fish tank (which is green for some unknown reason — Jon says I’m feeding the fish too much — I still think they’re underfed and unhappy about it), cleaning out Buddy’s (formerly Snake Food’s) cage, and — the biggest one of all — attempting to weed the yard.

I say attempting because I learned several things today that I thought might be applicable in other parts of my life, as well.

For instance:

I found that it’s easier to pull the four-foot high weeds AFTER I have watered the ground they live in. Water first. Weed second.

I also found that grabbing too tightly as I pulled meant stickers in my hands, even through the thick gloves. Don’t grab a prickly thing too tightly and expect to avoid the stickers.

If at first you don’t succeed, try a different angle. Yanking one way brought what seemed to be little success. Changing my approach/direction usually produced instant results. Voila!

If a different angle doesn’t work, I thought of two more options: a) give up, or b) get the shovel and chop that sucker in half. Which choice is the correct one depends on how desperately you want to get rid of it and whether or not it endangers your own personal safety in the extrication process (see below).

Spraying weeds with weed killer before attempting to yank them does two things: 1) It takes a long time, and 2) Those suckers are meaner in death than they are in life — tread carefully.

And, it’s easier to pull the little ones than the big ones. Once they’ve taken root and been allowed to grow for a while, they think they have as much right to be there as the desirable plants. Weeding before it gets out of control will save major back troubles. (I pulled so hard once that I nearly ended up on my butt from the force of the yank. Fortunately, having done this exact thing before, I stopped myself just before the tumble, but also was unsuccessful with Mr. Bad Ass Weed. Time for the shovel for him. Say goodnight, Gracie. “Goodnight, Gracie.”)

Cheers and best wishes for a happy weekend!



  1. You weed your YARD? Like, you pull weeds out of the grass? They make weed & feed for that. And lawn mowers.

  2. Hi Diesel! Apparently my commnication skills suck, because the weeds I pulled were actually in the flower-and-rock portions of my property, not the actual grass yard itself. Not that there weren’t weeds there, too (despite Jon saying that yes he *did* put weed-and-feed on the lawn), it’s just that those weren’t the weeds I was worried about.

    Weeds: 8

    Ang: 3

    Hope your vacation was tremendous!

  3. LOL! Laughing my ass off … as you were nearly falling on your ass. Would love to see a video of that.

    When I was a kid, we had a neighbor that used to pull out shrubs and stuff with his car. He would tie up the shrub, then tie the other end to his bumper and let it rip.

    He was a little funny in the head. Well, maybe a lot funny because the men in white suits eventually took him away.

  4. Dan ~ What a great idea! I didn’t even think of that one! Having friends is so awesome. I’m going to haul that sucker’s ass out with the Honda. Perfect! (Don’t call the ambulance on me, though. Some things just have to be done.)

  5. I know this was literally about weeding, but it is so like a Buddhist lecture. There’s an idea bout watering the good seeds (positive thoughts, emotions, actions) and not watering or pulling out the bad ones, and then you also cover things like changing your approach based on what you are presetned with, going with the direction of the bad thing, working on problems while they are still small, etc. In fact, Iwas dead certian you were going to end on a metaphorical note! Guess I’m in a philosophical place today.

  6. CS ~ You can see how far I am in my Buddhist learning — in other words, that I was able to begin it but not end it on a metaphorical note! 🙂 These things are very spiritual for me, and I’m thankful that a bit of that greater understanding translated for you, even if I was clumsy in my bringing it full circle. Hope your vacation is going really, really well!

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