Why I love my husband – Reason 5,879

August 3, 2007

I am used to attention. One, I am an attention whore, so I throw the Look At Me vibe out quite a lot. Two, I am an attention whore. And three, yes, I am an attention WHORE.

Now, this is not to say that I haven’t had my anti-attention moments. Like say, oh, the last eight years or so while my dancing shoes have been gathering dust in the closet, save the occasional Gatsby party. Is there a woman out there who doesn’t like to wear a boa? I’d like to know.

Apparently, however, I don’t dress up nearly enough. (Don’t let the pictures fool you, folks. I don’t look like that or smile like that on a regular basis. And stop with all the “you must be happy” crap. If you have been tempted to believe this about me, it must be that my acting ability has sucked you in and fooled into thinking that my life is sunshine and roses. It’s not. Or at least, it hasn’t been. Until today! But that’s another story entirely.)

As to personal appearance, I first started realizing that someone else besides me had noticed that I was wearing more cotton than silk when I went to board my plane for California in May.

Since I was going to meet my best friend (the Queen of Fashion) at LAX, I pulled out my cutie patootie black strappy Victoria Secret sandals, my teal pedal pusher pants and my sleeveless silk top that is oh, so Keira Knightley. I felt fabulous, Dahlings.

On the way to the airport, Jon said, “Wow. You look like your pictures.” (Meaning, the ones I sent him through match.com trying to garner his interest.) Whoops. Note to self: wear lipstick and strappy sandals more often.

Three months later and still running around in flip flops, I decided last night to get dolled up for his concert. In PoDunk Idaho. I curled my hair. I put on dangly earrings, and, Dahlings, I was feeling goooood.

“Oh, won’t it be so fun to smile and flirt with him through the concert,” I thought to my little naughty self.

I love that. I love when I walk in and he sees me and his smile goes from a normal-everyday-average-doing-a-gig-so-I-have-to-smile smile to a damn-I-love-you-and-you-light-up-my-world-woman smile. I could light an entire city for a week with the energy that courses through me when I see that smile. I live for it.

So when I walked in to the concert last night, I was jonesing for my smile, for my special time where I get to be Cinderella and the guitar player flirts with me, and I flirt back and then I get to be the girl that goes home with the guy I used to only dream about.

Yep. I was ready.

So I picked my way through and around the crowd, attracting attention because I was the only girl there with dangly earrings and no cowboy hat. (Note to self: Don’t forget your cowboy hat when next going to a Row-Dee-O.)

I found a lovely spot with a beeline view to Jon.

“Here I am. All by my lonesome. Look at me.”

I was putting off the vibe.

It was strong.

A 50-something rather large man came and stood in my space, directly behind me and to the right. I kept my eye on him in case I had to whack him with my purse. Lessons learned as a teenager when unscrupulous men would Tim McGraw me. (As a total aside: Go Faith!)

But, I again digress. I didn’t turn around to acknowledge Mr. In-My-Space Man, and eventually he went off to find greener pastures.

“Damn,” I thought after more than several minutes of music. “Jon must not be able to see me.”

So worming my way back through the beer garden and hot dog trailer, I squeezed through people to grab a chair right up front that was dead center and completely alone. (This lesson I learned in my 30s. If there’s an empty chair next to you, someone WILL come sit in it.)

I still ended up with some company behind me (this time much younger — as in I-think-I-might-be-old-enough-to-be-your-mother younger), but I wasn’t being hassled, so I tried to relax and enjoy the concert, waiting for that moment of recognition I love so much.

Two songs went by. Then four. Apparently his eyesight is worse than I thought. What else could it be?

A song later, the lead singer came down in the middle of some tune I don’t know and grabbed my hand, which led to a very embarrassing dance with me and my two left feet.

But “Glory! Hallelujah! I thought. “At least now he’ll know I’m here and we can smile and flirt.”

Oh, how I love to smile and flirt.

At the end of the dance, the singer asked my name, thanked me and continued singing, trying to catch my eye. But not my husband.

“Why?” I wondered sorrowfully. “Is he angry with me?”

I replayed our last conversation in my head, trying to think of why he was only smiling his Work smile, instead of his Smile for Me smile.

Ten songs. Twenty songs. An encore.

As the band began breaking down at 1 a.m., I made my way up the back of the stage and found Jon wrapping cords.

“Oh my god,” he said, flashing that smile I’d been waiting for all night. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here?” I teased, hugging him. “Where else would I be?”

“You love to do that to me,” he said, smiling.

“What?” I flirted, knowing full well what I like to do. “But when you didn’t smile back, I was worried that you were mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you weren’t smiling back at me.”

“Well, I noticed this pretty blonde that kept staring at me and smiling, but it made me embarrassed.”

“I know. You didn’t smile back!”

Sheepish grin.

My husband won’t even let ME pick him up.

Note to self: Wear dangly earrings and curl hair more often. And if desired smile is not more forthcoming, move closer. This aging thing isn’t for sissies and night vision goggles just aren’t super attractive on stage.


  1. how sweet. my fiance and i are still in the sweet and romantic part of the relationship,but sometimes i cen’t help but wonder where we will be 10 or 20 years down the marriage zone. i wish we can maintain whatever it is we have now… thanks for your pointers, i will keep those in mind!

  2. Bebe ~ thanks so much for visiting. I think that there’s definitely a shelf life on those romantic rush endorphins, but I’m over the average and still start crying sometimes when he looks at me (and I’ll almost always start crying if he’s crying first). I think that a lot of couples forget to play (flirt, even prank) because it came so naturally at first and then has to be consciously worked on later. Not sure if my theory holds any water, but I know that we are always much more connected after a good flirt or prank. Best wishes in your marriage!!

  3. Flirting is one of life’s great plesaures – I’ve always thought that. But I’m not sure revelling in attention makes you an attention whore. Who doesn’t like that feeling of being adored?

  4. After being with my husband and married for 13 years I can relate to everything in this post. If that’s the case then I’m an attention whore as well. LOL

  5. Ang! This was terrific! one of my favorite posts of yours. Oh my God! Jon wouldn’t even let YOU pick him up. πŸ™‚ Great line! What a terrific, true blue guy!

    And very lucky, that he gets to see THAT smile! Hugs and kisses Ang!

  6. CS, you are too sweet to me. I do love being adored. I do, I do, I do! And I’ve toned down quite a bit since I was a teen in terms of throwing off the vibe. In my own crazy way, I was just trying to be self deprecating. πŸ˜‰ Flirting rules!

    Kim ~ Hooray! I’m so glad to hear that it really doesn’t have to just fizzle out and die. I’ve got three-and-a-half years invested in this relationship and sometimes it is so good I just cry. (Other times, of course, I slam cupboards and grit my teeth, but it’s all part of the joy of being together.) Thanks so much for the comment. Bring on the attention, that’s what I say!

    Dan ~ I’m so glad you liked it! He is so true blue; it just makes me adore him all the more. I didn’t put in how embarrased the singer (who is relatively new to the band) was when he found out who I was married to. Best wishes for a happy weekend!

  7. LOL!!! I love this. What a beautiful couple you two are.

  8. You make me smile this much———-BIG SMILE. I love my DennyWonderbread and his “looks of love” even after all these years (almost 34!) NO, I am not old.
    iloveyou and your unique perspective.

  9. You both make such a cute couple and there is nothing wrong with flirting to keep the romance in the marriage. Loved the post and if there is one person that deserves to see THAT smile it is him, yes? πŸ™‚

    “Apparently, however, I don’t dress up nearly enough. (Don’t let the pictures fool you, folks…”

    hmmm, for some reason I was fooled! πŸ˜‰

  10. Pool ~ Thank you! I really have a lot of good things in my life. He’s my lobster. I loved the way you spoke of your hub, too. It’s not always easy, and it’s a pretty crazy life sometimes, but damn if it’s not a good one. xoxoxo

    Franny ~ I know you didn’t tell them, but I know in my heart that you were only 12 when you married him. Your take on life and love for each other has kept you both young. I remember when I used to be so jealous of your relationship. So glad I found my DennyWonderbread. Love you!

    Foo ~ hehehehe. I think I’ve fooled more than just you. Selective picture posting. I look that way once every three months — which is why I always take a picture of it and post it, because it’s such a rare occasion. Like Christmas. Every other day I look like Sasquatch. (Just being honest.) πŸ™‚

  11. Awwww, such a cute story!
    So your husband is in a band?

  12. Thanks, Sassy! He is. I feel so lucky sometimes because there’s music going in the house as much as there is. We have a blast.

  13. I love being adored too. That’s why I’m so glad I have my dog. My girlfriend sometimes does too. I like her alright.



  14. Hi Rick ~ Dogs are so awesome that way. I think we all need unadulterated adoration on a regular basis.

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