A study in closeness

September 17, 2007

Funny how sometimes when we’re not paying attention, people pull away from us and we don’t even know.


I wish you could have seen the look on Jon’s face when he saw this photo in the digi-camera.

I think he liked this one better.


If last week’s lesson was “to observe,” perhaps this week’s lesson could be “to be aware.” Is there someone in your life who may have pulled away without your realizing it? Any intentions of doing something about it if you realize the answer is “yes”? Just a Monday musing. I muse. I’m a muser, which is not quite the same thing as being amusing, but I’ll take it!



  1. How right you are! 🙂



  2. Thanks, Chani. I am so glad you visited and was loving reading your blog. I tried to google “embrace all” today looking for words like the ones you have in your Serenity post and couldn’t find anything that really spoke to me. Isn’t it wonderful how the universe works and brought you to me instead. I am very grateful. Thank you for sharing those thoughts and pictures.

  3. You are both a muser AND amusing! Great combination.

    As for someone in my life pulling away? Perhaps I was aware on some level and chose not to take action?
    You’ve got me thinking (musing…).

  4. Hi Beth! Thank you for your kind compliments. I am humbled and happy to be considered both by you.

    And yes, not doing something is definitely an option (and sometimes a very preferable one at that). I have an old friend I found recently online who doesn’t seem to be as interested in reconnecting as I am. In the old days, that would have bothered me tremendously. Now I’m realizing that sometimes that just happens and not only is it okay, often it’s really for the best.

    As Dan says, “Don’t think!” 😉 I laugh every time I think about him talking about thinking because it’s true that I have thunk myself into quite a few quandaries. Better when I just feel. Here’s to thinking and feeling and whichever combination of the two brings you more peace and happiness. Cheers!

  5. Angela, try “Thich Nhat Hanh”. Most of those quotes come from his writings.

    Of course, there’s always the Dhammapada. Lots of great quotes in there.

    Glad you came by. Truly. Thank you. 🙂



  6. Chani, thank you. I first remember hearing aobut Thich Nhat Hanh at a conference several years ago and have enjoyed everything I’ve read of his. I believe he also has some guided meditations on beliefnet.com . . . ? Thanks for the recommendation. I hope to connect with you often.

  7. How strange… I was thinking of someone this morning.. someone I have been friends with for years but the last few months have been strained and now we rarely talk at all. Maybe I’ll call her tomorrow…

  8. Is it just me, or are you the only one who pulled closer from one photo to the next?

    Your analogy works as long as BOTH people in question not only recognize but act on the need. One person doing all the work is like one-sided chemistry on a date.

    So, as much as I like that a picture tells a thousand stories … I hope these two don’t tell the WHOLE story.

    All that aside, you’re a very handsome couple.

  9. Aw, you guys are cute. 🙂

  10. Hi Dawn! Don’t you just love when stuff like that happens? It’s strange to me to think about how and why relationships change and how to direct them back on course (if that’s what we truly want). I’d love to hear more about what happens . . .

    Jim ~ 🙂 Ah, the observant journalist. Aren’t these pictures wild? In looking at them, I thought how I could have nearly photoshopped myself into the different positions. There is much here that is being said, Grasshoppah.

    Reesepie ~ Thank you! Being able to be with a man where my smile isn’t strained is such a blessing! 😉

  11. what a happy couple! 🙂

    btw: i know you are a dog person but you have to visit this site http://kittenwar.com. cute!

  12. I like the second one better, too. What a fine looking couple you are. Lovely.

  13. So just last week my dude and I were getting ready to go to sleep. I was kissing him and realized that I was the only one leaning in.
    Man, that pissed me off.
    Finally I said “You know, I shouldn’t have to work this hard.”
    And I rolled over to go to sleep.
    He rubbed my back a little and asked what was wrong.
    I told him I felt like he was just there while I was actually in the moment.
    Being a guy, I am not sure he really understood the difference and why I was upset.
    But he did apologize and I have noticed him being more affectionate the past few days.

  14. Ian ~ Thank you. You are too kind. We love that rock star/ actress thing that Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward have going. We may never have been big time, but we definitely have our own little mutual adoration society going on. (Okay, so Paul Newman isn’t a rock star, but you understand.) I don’t know what it is about performers, but I’m hoping to figure it out someday.

    ACG ~ I can so feel you. I’m sure that I’ve been on the other side, too, where I wasn’t leaning as much as I should have; but I do know that it always feels nicer when the lean is mutual. I was feeling mischievous this day and just decided to let the film capture what was going on (which I imagine is partly why my smile is so big even though I’m leaning back and out). It’s good for us to remember that people won’t always be where we think they should be or hope they are if we’re not paying attention. I can tell you that Jon didn’t like getting caught like this — He prides himself on being aware. 😉

  15. On second thought, maybe I should re-title this “Yin and Yang.” I just realized that he’s in black and I’m in white. Funny!

  16. Thanks, Foo! Sometimes we want to scratch each other’s eyes out, but I don’t take photos of that. 😉 And thanks for the link. I adore cats, but Jon keeps insisting he’s allergic. One of these days I hope to wear him down, but it probably won’t be this year.

  17. The second photo is way more real. I’m of the view that it doesn’t matter who comes to whom, as long as you come together. Together is always better.

  18. V. ~ very much so. I was feeling pretty mischievous in the first one. I absolutely agree that together is better. And maybe it’s just my control issues talking (hahahahhaa), but I have trouble with the idea that one person would be making a lot more effort than the other most of the time.

  19. Avast, maties! it’s that time of the year again… TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! ARRRGGHH.

  20. I’d certainly hope he liked the second one better. It looks like he smelled bad in the first one. I’m sure thats not the case.

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