November 26, 2007

Two hours of my life that I will never get back.

Barbie meets Lord of the Rings — only nowhere near as good.

I’d rather watch Vince Vaughn’s Dodgeball one hundred billion times than have to endure this movie again.


With one tiny exception or two: 1) No one who has warm blood pumping through their veins can help but be entranced by the Angelina Jolie scenes — she is absolutely stunning, and 2) the message of being careful what you choose was not lost on me.

That being said (the part about seriously regretting that I ever agreed to go and see this movie), there were some really good moments and nice lines, so you may not want to write it off based on my opinion, unless you can’t STAND watching other people play slasher video games. If that’s the case for you, spend your movie money elsewhere.

The sad thing is that this movie could have TOTALLY been redeemed — a true case of movie tragedy, folks. TRAGEDY, I tell you. What I wouldn’t have given to have seen them in REAL FREAKING LIFE instead of animated characters stumbling around like a bunch of fantasy people in Shrek.

Honestly. Does anyone over 30 who isn’t going to run out and buy the Beowulf video game think that this was a good movie?




  1. Oh, Ang, you are such a person after my heart in your fine taste. Yet another reason to love you, if that’s OK

  2. I didn’t know that one was animated. I don’t like many animated movies, except a few really good kids’ movies along the lines of Toy Story and Iron Giant. And I absolutely hate video games. Especially bloody video games. SO thanks for the heads up!

  3. Thanks so much for your review of this movie. This is one I really don’t feel that I need to see.

    I had heard that “We own the night” was good but I didn’t like it at all. I’m really ready to see a GOOD movie so if you see one, please do let us know.
    I’m not a big movie goer but lately been craving it and since I’ve only been to …. two in the past , oh, eight or ten years now … since Blair Witch, I think I am deserviing of a few.

    Much peace to you today and every day.

    ~ RS ~

  4. Thanks. I can cross that one off the list.

  5. I am SO not seeing THIS movie.

    But I loved DODGE BALL.

  6. There’s a simple rule of thumb for moviegoers β€” the more a film depends on CGI (computer-generated imagery), the less it makes room for old-fashioned qualities like plot and character development.

    “Gladiator” started this horrible trend with possibly the cheesiest, most distracting CGI ever.


  7. “I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.”

  8. Ian ~ I figure that I can use all the love I can get, so thank you!!

    CS ~ The painful part is that this movie *could* have been so good. I just think that I’m perhaps in the “too old” category for this. Maybe the teenagers like it? Couldn’t tell you. All I can say is that I am rarely *this* disappointed in a movie, and this one just really bummed me out.

    Ruby ~ You are SO deserving! Go treat yourself! I wish I could recommend ANYTHING that was out right now. The only one I can think of that I saw this year and really loved was “Pan’s Labyrinth.” I loved that movie. It seems like there were a FEW others (“Little Miss Sunshine” comes to mind) — but now they’re all rentals. If you haven’t seen “Love Actually,” I highly recommend that movie, also. Love and light to YOU! oh, and p.s. Jim’s comment made me realize that “Just Like Heaven” is another chick-flick favorite. Loved it!

    V. ~ Y’all are giving me too much credit, I’m sure of it. πŸ˜‰

    Meleah ~ “Dodge Ball” was cool. I did like it. Not enough to see it one hundred billion times, but you get the idea. πŸ™‚

    Jim ~ Totally. And darn you, now I want to go pop in my “Just Like Heaven” DVD. So funny!

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