August 22, 2008

I am totally depressed (well, not totally but you understand) that I am only supposed to wear white pants for the next week-and-a-half. Who makes up these rules? Can I flog her?

Why does summer have to end? Why, why, why?

And while I’m at it with the questioning, why can’t there be a Dishes Fairy that comes and cleans the kitchen while I sleep? It’s getting ridiculous. (And I’ve been eating a lot of Chinese take-out. Who the hell is creating all this work for me?! I am unhappy with this person.)

I really should live in a townhouse or someplace without a yard to manage.

I don’t like to cook as much as I thought I did (hence, the Chinese take-out). Cooking for others = fun. Cooking for self = pass.

Struts on cars should rejuvenate themselves each year. Like spring. Or spiders’ legs.

So should sustaining pedals that get knocked off of pianos by playful, careless 8-year-olds.

Everyone should know about pandora radio.

And have the “Dark Knight”‘s code of ethics.

Sabayon is incredible, especially when shared with someone who can pronounce it properly.

I heard a song today by Keri Noble titled “Ooh-Oh” and I can’t stop listening to it.

I’m convinced that some of us (if not all of us) have wild hearts and that they’re beautiful.

I got a call at work today from a woman who wanted to talk to me about “fortune cookie” advertising. I think it might be kismet.

Last week a lamp kept turning itself on. I think the gods were trying to tell me they were watching.

I now believe in true soulmates, even more strongly than before.

I think it’s funny how we spend so much time trying to figure things out when everything changes (or at least can change) in a heartbeat anyway.

Nothing beats good friends, good wine, good food, a good book, and people you love who love you back.

Kindness can not be overrated.

I watched a homeless man who was very dirty, ragged and forlorn-looking hitchhiking on the freeway yesterday and thought that he personified my soul. I felt connected to him in a way that made me realize how much we all need mercy, help, hope and love.

Earlier this week I watched the “Bucket List” and cried my eyes out at the end of it. I won’t spoil the ending, but if you haven’t seen it, you might think it worth a watch, especially if you need a good cry.

Yesterday, on Facebook, when they asked what I was doing, I initially wrote “Angela is hanging out waiting to die.” But then I felt like that was too morbid, so I erased it. I had another good cry last night, so I now feel better.

Bitch PhD was infinitely more interesting when I couldn’t google her.

On the other hand, a certain other person in my life became infinitely more precious when I could.

Life is beautiful.

The end.

For now.



  1. Wow, Angela, that’s a wild spin around the compass. Some funny observations, some profound, mixed with a touch of melancholy, it seems… In case misery loves company, a woman I was crazy about fifteen years let me know that she might be interested now. After all this time. And distance. And dependents(on her side).

    But being the good sport that I am, I decide to tack on some extra days to a business trip to see what might happen. Some sparks over the course of the week. But I called her this afternoon and she told me she was looking forward to going out this evening. I didn’t ask who with, and she didn’t say, but it kinda put a damper on an already-grey afternoon… I’m unsure about why I’m here, so it’s a puzzling time for me at the moment. Ah, well…


  2. So much stuff, lovely Angela. You know, I once said the same thing to somebody. This was a number of years ago, and things have got much better. But, she asked what I was doing these days, and I replied: “Just putting in time until I die.” Really, things did get better.
    Be well, my dear.

  3. TW ~ Oh, yes. Wild spins around the compass are one of my specialties! I’m glad to hear that you gave it a shot. (I did something similar about five years ago with very similar results.) I hope you’re feeling better as I know how hard that can be.

    Ian ~ Thank you, dear one. I appreciate you. It’s honest, and I don’t particularly like being one of those people who feels things deeply, but it is what it is, so I guess I’d better stop fighting it and learn how to live with it, yes? Thanks for your encouragement.

  4. “I’m convinced that some of us (if not all of us) have wild hearts and that they’re beautiful.”

    I sure that it is all of us.

  5. Thanks, Ang. I’m still in touch with Miss New York, so you never know, but for now I’ll continue to meet and interact with women in my neck of the woods, and she’ll be doing the same on her end. We’ve done this dance before, after all, when there was a lot less at stake, and the big loser at the time was my heart. So I have to be a little more careful this time, and, dare I say it, a little more practical. Not very romantic, I know, but as Don Henley, “sometimes love just ain’t enough”

    Not my usual post, but I’m sure you understand πŸ™‚


  6. Here’s what I’ve decided about soul mates: People don’t necessarily have a single soul mate. They might, that it, but they might also have a soupl mate for a particular time in their life and who fills a particular need (or many needs). Someitmes you find one who is a good enough fit to stay forever. Sometimes you lose that connection and move along to another. But I think you have to be open to that soul mate connection to find them. That’s my take on it anyway.

    A few other comments: I want a Dishes Fairy, too, who will also just do general housework. And pick my kids up from school. And I don’t own a pair of white pants (or shoes) so the “rule” doesn’t affect me personally. But wear what you want to, I say.

  7. In Key West you can wear white all year. πŸ™‚

  8. What I love most about this post is I feel like I came away with it really knowing how you were feeling. πŸ™‚ It was great!

    And thanks for your compliments last week. πŸ™‚ I think you heap too much praise my way, girl.

  9. I love this blog entry Angela.
    And sigh, “people you love who love you back”.
    So tempting to keep longing for someone’s love,
    so familiar the struggle. For some of us it’s a lot more familiar than really being loved and really knowing how to connect and be vulnerable.

  10. I think you’re on to something, Connie. Sometimes it’s easier to chase the ones you never get than the ones who stop and let you catch them. Maybe this is why dogs chase cars πŸ™‚


  11. Where hast thou gone, lovely friend?

  12. We all need mercy, help, hope and love. Knowing this pretty much ensures that you will get it.

    Hang in there. Things always get better, just when we think they won’t.

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